Is Codependency a real thing?

Pull up for this hot take! ☕️

I’ve been seeing a lot of chat online about how the concept of codependency should be done away with because it promotes individualism over more community-oriented ways of thinking and being.

As a relationship therapist who used to really struggle to hear my own voice in my romantic relationships, I’m here to share that two things can be true at once:

1️⃣ Codependency IS a thing AND
2️⃣ White supremacist culture IS guilty of instilling in us that we should never lean on one another and instead should figure out how to do everything on our own.

Here’s my take on what codependency is based on how I’ve experienced it in my body…

😰 Feeling a sense of panic when my partner unexpectedly changes their plans and needs to leave the house
😰 Being afraid to voice my need for space or alone-time because the thought of being without my partner feels even scarier
😰 My entire mood shifting for the remainder of the day because my partner’s mood shifted
😰 Keeping my feelings to myself because I’m worried that it will ruffle my partner’s feathers and they’ll become upset with me

Codependency is NOT…

☁️ Leaning on your community for support
☁️ Caring about how your loved ones feel
☁️ Being interdependent with your family and partner(s)